You know how in marriage lore the toothpaste tube is a source of conflict? Well after 13 years of brushing peacefully, I figured that squabble was for foolish couples only (why not just get two tubes if it irkes you, people?). Then it happened. Last week, Mr. Handsome and I had some tube troubles of our own. I share our story in hopes that you & your sweetheart may learn from our toothpaste trials.
The other night I reached in the cupboard and pulled out the toothpaste. I said to myself "Hum. This tube is basically all gone." So I absent mindedly stuck it back into the cupboard and pulled out a brand spanking new tube that was stashed right next to it. (I have an aversion to throwing things away. It is a multi-generational problem I like to blame on the Great Depression.)
I was busy brushing when Handsome pulled out the old toothpaste tube. "Becky, why did you open a new toothpaste when we've still got some left in the old one?" His tone was slightly adversarial. I became defensive of my distaste for vigorous squeezing.
"There's nothing left in there to be worth it." I quipped.
He was not buying this. "There's at least ten uses left in there."
I knew there was a minute amount still hiding in the tube recesses, but really, I didn't want to squeeeeeeeeze that hard to get it out and there was a new one right next to it. Richie could use the old one if his conscious screamed "waste not", right?
I defended. "No way. Maybe three, but not ten."
He stood firm. So I proposed we find out exactly how many toothpaste applications were actually left (you learn things when you're married to a data junkie). I quickly got a sharpie marker and placed it next to the tube. Each time someone brushed, a tally mark was written on the side of the tube. The next morning at brush time, I knew I was beaten. Obviously, way more than three. Darn.
In our final result picture you can see, we were both wrong. Not three. Not ten. But 23.
This is what a completely empty tube of toothpaste looks like.Has your marriage had toothpaste troubles? Tell me we're not alone!
(This has made me wonder, how many uses are there in a full toothpaste tube? You seeking adventure in your nighttime getting ready for bed routine can tackle that question. Sharpies to the ready!)
12 comments:
So glad to hear other people who seem so perfect have the same kind of issues. But really 23? I never would have guessed.
That is hilarious!
You and Stephen just might be related!
I remember trying to convince Andrew that there more toothpaste when he could find none. It just takes the right skills (don't squeeze the tube, rather,flank the side of the nozzle with your fingers and push the bottom up with your thumb, like a syringe).
Anyway, I always wondered what it was like being married to an accountant/MBA...the counting thing was hilarious. So analytical, which I am not.
i just love getting rid of junk. so, to me, it would be fun to throw away the old tube and get a new one.
plus, i bought toothpaste from costco last time, and if i dont just throw out the old tubes, ill never get through all that costco toothpaste!!!!
but it is true, you can make a tube of toothpaste last a long time. frankly, i am shocked when a tube is completely gone. and you cant no matter how hard you try get another dot. thats probably only happened ten times.
by the way, your husband is quite an interesting fellow, when i look at his blog, i am amazed at how he looks at the world. no wonder sam is such a funny little guy.
I have a clamp thing that cleans all the toothpaste out of the tube for me. I've had it since I was like 12. One of those little gifts from the dentist. I remember one time on a family trip, Richard asked me if he could have it when I died (In, "Can I have your watch when you are dead?" style. Maybe I'd better hand it over right now!
Funny thing, I was just thinking about the number of brushings you could get out of one tube the other day. I guess it all depends on how much you squeeze out each time. If you do it like they used to show on T.V., you wouldn't get many brushings. But you know me, I use quite a bit less each time, so probably get many more brushings than average.
Richard resist do not feed into the compulsion. If Becky were to drop over dead tomorrow you would never forgive yourself for lamenting over toothpaste. There are too many bigger issues to waste our time on.Oh he is so blessed to have married someone who has a great sense of humor
PS besides there is a least one more use if you get the scissors and cut the tube oppen!
This reminds me of an old TV advertisement about how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop. ::crunch!:: Three!
I still covet Angela's toothpaste squeezing device. I've never seen its equal...
I try to do this with every tube I use, not because I'm so intent on being efficient, but because I almost always forget to buy another tube until I literally have none left.
Post a Comment